It’s been well over 3 years since I last wrote something here, I was even debating taking down my first post ever. It kind of makes me cringe a bit reading over it, but I decided to leave it alone for the sake that it’s a part of my story.
Over the last few years a lot of things have changed. Everything from my personality to my goals and dreams. People change, seasons change, everything truly does change, but I’d like to think that everything changes for the better. Things truly do get better as the time goes by. For the first time in my life I’m finally doing things that I should have done years ago. I’m finally speaking up about a lot of things and I feel like I’m finally being true to myself. Lets face it, how many times haven’t we compromised ourselves for the sake of not jeopardizing a situation? How many times have we tried to hide who we are from people, employers, partners, and maybe even family for the sake of acceptance? For the sake of making something work out so that everything can be smooth sailing, or so you think. We think that when we do certain things for people, or behave in certain ways, things will just be easy. What we don’t realize is that by doing that we’re losing so much and the most important thing that we lose is our identity.
Why do we add so much pressure to ourselves thinking that we need to change anything for anyone? What leads us to believe that we need to fit in? What does fitting in even mean? Who created all these labels that are now ruling the lives of millions of people out there? Who created timelines that said we needed to be, do, or have certain things by a certain age? Why do we allow society to plague us with these things that only cause us anxiety, stress, depression, anger, and any other negative emotion that comes with all of that? 3 years ago was when I embarked on a journey to find myself, again. I say again because I had found out who I truly was but I allowed labels and the pressure that society adds to us to affect me. Then suddenly I became someone who I knew deep down I wasn’t. I once upon a time had piercings on my lip and my hair was green and then purple and I felt extremely comfortable with who I was. Until I allowed labels to affect my way of thinking. Suddenly it wasn’t presentable to have all of those piercings on my face, or to have my hair a certain color, because if I wanted to reach a 6 figure salary or more, it wasn’t possible to do so with the way that I looked. I bought into all of that, little by little I took off my piercings one by one. I dyed my hair a “presentable” color so that I could blend in with what was considered to be normal. I have a lot of tattoos that I have to cover up because they’re not “presentable” and well everyone quite frankly stares at them as if they were a sin to have.
I compromised myself but for what? For a great wage? to be accepted? so that I could finally fit into this quadrant that society created in order to separate people some more? I could feel my happiness decrease bit by bit, until one day I finally decided to take baby steps into feeling like myself again. Last year, I finally decided to dye my hair again. I decided to bring myself back to life again. Others may think this is overly dramatic, small things like a tattoo, your hair being purple or green, or even simply having piercings, can make someone else feel like themselves. I know I feel great when I am able to truly express myself without feeling the need to hold back, it’s who I am. Please don’t have people feeling like they need to be any different than who they are in order for you to feel comfortable. I have spent years trying to piece myself together again. To which I will definitely add, it’s no ones fault but my own. I chose to compromise and to fall into the trap of labels and pressure. That doesn’t mean that you should compromise any bit of yourselves. Please be whoever you feel that you are and look the way that you want to look. Nothing in this world is worth compromising whoever you are.
Forget the damn labels, pressure, and the bullshit that others have created that have you feeling you should fit into some fucking quadrant that they created to help themselves feel better about them. You should do whatever you feel is right for you and your life and for the sake of your happiness. You don’t want to reach an old age and wish you would’ve stood up for your happiness. You and your happiness comes first, then everything else will follow. Trust me, it will. Once you start living your true and authentic self, everything else starts falling into place. I don’t like to touch on religions, but even if it means that your religious beliefs are different as well, just follow what you believe.
Once you start being true to yourself, I know that you’ll be happy with how things start playing out for you. You can’t go wrong with being you. Follow your bliss, it’s the best thing that you could ever do for yourself.