Why venting only creates more of what is

adult alone blur close up

Have you ever found yourself venting your frustrations and repeating the same things over and over? How did all of that make you feel? Do you feel happy afterwards? My guess is that it probably leaves you even more drained, angry, and or depressed.

Everything is energy. If you haven’t heard this before, you may have been hiding under a rock these past couple of years. Ever since social media got bigger than what was probably anticipated, you’ve seen your friends and/or specific pages post quotes about energies, enlightenment, affirmations, and the list goes on and on. I’m sure you’ve heard this before but I’ll say it again, “Energy flows where your attention goes.” Knowing this information, why do we as human beings still resort to venting and/or bad mouthing situations or people? Your attention is so fixated on this situation that of course all of your energy goes into that which only creates more and more of whatever you’re constantly drawn to. If you’re complaining about something constantly, that issue is not going to go away. Why should it? You’re so focused on the problem that you’re not allowing for a solution to come in. If your thoughts create things, then don’t you think that it’s not a coincidence that you’re still living the same things over and over? Don’t you think that your constant attention to these issues gives it more power to remain the same? You don’t allow yourself the opportunity to feel better and to allow better things to come in.

I ran into a situation the other day where I found myself venting for the first time in months. I was extremely passionate about this frustration. I wanted everyone to understand that what had just happened to me was “terrible” and every other negative emotion that I could think of. I noticed that as my attention remained so focused on this incident, I only kept getting angrier and feeling worse. I wasn’t feeling any better and the more people I kept telling about this, the more I felt these emotions slowly drain me of my energy. I felt like shit and the incident I had experienced had already happened and was technically in the past. So, if the incident had already occurred, why did I keep giving it so much of my attention and time? Why did I allow this to drain me of my energy and to strip away my great feelings? Was this situation even worth me truly getting that worked up over? These are questions that I had to ask myself, but I wasn’t able to do so until the following day. By this point, I had already wasted a great morning still upset over something that had happened to me the previous evening. I consider myself blessed to be able to shift myself back to a better feeling state so quickly. I say quickly because if negative emotions only last less than a day now, that is me truly winning at life now.

Where did we get the idea that venting was even a great idea or a great thing to do? That it would somehow benefit us in someway? For me, it was through watching my elders (relatives). That’s what I saw growing up. My relatives going out for a walk and I would go along for the stroll and I would hear them constantly discussing things or situations that weren’t changing. It sounded like a broken record, hearing the same thing over and over. So, that was what got programmed into me. And guess what? I found more people that had the same programs as me and it just suddenly seemed “normal.” While we may have learned the most amazing traits from our elders, we also learned some programming that set us back a little. Venting is a form of complaints and when you’re so busy venting (complaining), you lose sight of all the great things that you still have in your life. When you lose sight of the great, you can’t continue to receive anything great. Yes, I understand that we all run into some circumstances that you just can’t seem to understand how you’ll get out of them but have a little faith. If you don’t believe in a higher power such as god or the universe have some FAITH IN YOURSELF. Having faith in yourself means you believe in your ability to find the people who may be able to help you with what you’re facing and/or that you will be able to come up with the solution to whatever it is you’re going through. It’s all about timing.

The next time you find yourself venting or about to vent, take notice in how you’re feeling at that moment. Ask yourself if the situation you’re dealing with is worth you draining yourself over. Your thoughts and feelings create things and you can’t create anything better without you feeling better and thinking better. I know some people are probably saying, “Well, how the hell am I going to feel better with all of these burdens on my plate?” I’m going to have to say that you’re going about things the wrong way. There’s a difference between venting and asking for help. Speak up. You can’t receive any help if you’re not speaking up. Whether it’s a job that you’re looking for, or loans that you may need, or any other type of financial situation, seek and you will find what you’re looking for. If you’re sitting at home or walking the streets thinking that you’re never going to find a way out of your situation, then by the laws of the universe that’s exactly what you’re going to get. Speaking about these patterns and the same thing over and over only cause the same things to happen over and over again. I know I had a challenge speaking up because of issues regarding my pride. There was no way that I wanted to let my friends or anyone know the struggles that I was going through. So, I would feel sorry for myself most of the time wishing and hoping I was in a better situation. It wasn’t until I finally let go of my pride and started seeking people for help that my situations in life started getting better. You can do that without venting.

I want to challenge you to stop venting for an entire week. If this seems too challenging then try it for a day. A day without venting about these everyday things that burden you. Try it and then if possible, at the end of the day take note in how you’re feeling. I promise you that the more you stop venting, the more things will start to shift for you, for the better. I’m not saying that this is going to be easy. I am saying that the long term effects will be extremely worth it. I can’t tell anyone how to achieve this because even I know that what worked for me isn’t going to work for everyone else. We all learn differently and at a different pace. I achieved this through trial and error. I tried countless of things before I found something that worked for me. I hope that maybe this can help one of you understand why things don’t seem to be changing in your life. No, you’re not cursed. Nor are you meant to live a life filled with misery or sadness. You just allowed circumstances to rule your life.

“Your thoughts are the primary cause of everything.” – Rhonda Byrne

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