It seems that from the moment I started to identify my reasoning for being extremely impatient I started developing patience. I guess I made a deal with myself to get to know me better because unless I truly know who I am and what my triggers are, how can I expect for anyone to truly know me and understand me?
At the beginning of January 2018 I was told that I had let a lot of amazing opportunities go because I had no patience. I didn’t allow certain opportunities to play out fully or I would say I didn’t have time to waste in order to see where these situations/opportunities could lead me. As this person said these things to me I truly went within and tried to get to know my reasoning behind wanting to get to these places in my life much quicker than what I needed to. I started analyzing every area in my life and realized that for the most part, I was the one who created so much chaos in my life. I didn’t have to go through so many jobs growing up through my younger years, what I really had to do was focus myself on trying to find what truly called to me and go after that. It was due to my need to be at a certain level of my career by a certain age that made me go after jobs that I knew would bring me financial security but not bring me the happiness and fulfilling feeling that I was after. I was blind to the fact that I could live a great life and be both passionate about something that also brought in money for me. One day I truly just sat down in my kitchen and started asking myself so many questions in my head and started answering them on a piece of paper, it wasn’t until I did this that I realized what my reasoning was for being such an impatient person. I didn’t have to go through all this so called heartbreak that happened in my life because the truth is if I would’ve pursued a relationship for the right reasons in my younger years, I could’ve gone through things much differently and I could’ve potentially experienced great things. You will always continue to experience the same things over and over until you learn the lesson behind it and start doing something different. Sometimes the lesson is teaching you to do something that will make you internally happy instead of going for that instant gratification. You are being pushed to choose long term happiness instead of short term.
Here are some of the things that helped me become a more patient version of myself, what works for me may not work for you. So I encourage you that you find something that works for you and stick to that. A lot of the reasons why people fail at certain things are because they’re trying to implement something step by step that worked for another person. We should all know that some things will work for us and other things will not, this is why I love reading a lot of books, listening to so many podcasts, watching so many YouTube videos, and following so many different types of accounts on social media. You will find different methods to cope with different things and the best part is putting them into practice and seeing how they ultimately affect you and your progress. One thing I will add is that one of the things that I figured out was that I was dealing with a lot of childhood traumas and limiting beliefs that I didn’t realize were there. This caused a lot of my impatience, depression, anger, self-sabotage, among plenty of other things that I was experiencing in my day to day.
Things that helped me ground myself and bring myself back to the now moment:
- Meditation/Prayer – if you have a busy mind like mine you will at times find that meditation can be a little tricky. Something that I found that worked for me to be able to focus on meditation is when your anxiety is going through the roof, find an item to focus on, as you’re breathing in say it in your mind, “BREATHE IN” and as you’re breathing out say this in your mind “BREATHE OUT.” You can do this until all of the chatter in your head is practically gone and bring yourself back to the now moment. If you have some time maybe you can journal about why you felt the way that you did after you calm yourself down. Prayer is a form of meditation for me which helps bring me back to this now moment. I pray that I can release control and surrender to the amazing things that I have yet to experience that are waiting for me once I release all control.
- Books – I make sure to read a lot of books on personal development. I get a lot of information from these books but there were two books that truly helped me get a lot more information as to why impatience is also something we feel when we want to feel like we have control of every area of our lives. Three books that truly helped me release the illusion of control were: Let Go, Let Miracles Happen: The Art of Spiritual Surrender & Codependent No More & The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith. These books helped me get a new perspective and why we lose our shit and other things we can do to trust in the process.
- Journaling – This has truly always been a part of me since junior high. I love to write so much and question everything. So why don’t we do this with ourselves? Write everything down and when you get a chance if you read anything that stands out question it. Get to the bottom of why you have those thoughts or those beliefs about something. Dig deep! Questions everything, especially with yourself. This process is about finding out why you get uncomfortable with most of the situations in your life and finding out why you need things to be a certain way during the time frame that you have chosen.
- Take inventory of your hobbies/daily activities – chances are that if you’re getting impatient with certain areas of your life you aren’t doing things with your time that truly bring in happiness and truly have you in alignment with your true purpose. Take inventory and then make necessary adjustments that you know will make a positive impact for you. Start taking care of you more. What does it look like when you’re finally engaging in activities that make you happy? I can assure you that when you start doing more of those activities and start feeling a lot more joy, you will come across people or situations that will lead you to where you want to be, without the added struggle we were told that we needed to go through. Life does not need to be a struggle, it is only like that because you told yourself or you allowed someone to tell you life had to be a struggle.
- Spirituality – I became a lot more spiritual. I started praying more. I started going to guided meditations being held at certain shops and most importantly I started interacting more with a lot of spiritual souls. This helped me remain more grounded and focused more on the now. People were more focused on making the best of the now moment that it kind of made me want to do the same. I made more friends that were on their soul path which made me want to discover what my path was.
- GRATITUDE – When I started making lists of the things that I was grateful for I was having less time wishing things were different. It helped me realize how many things in my life were so right and so perfect that it helped me focus less on everything else that I thought needed to be different. I started appreciating my friends more, my family more, and all of my situations. Things didn’t start getting better until I started appreciating more. This may seem like a silly thing to do, but a very useful thing that helped shift my energy to a more positive one. When you are too busy giving thanks and appreciating every little thing, you truly have no time to be impatient.
These are some of the things that worked for me. They may or may not work for you and that’s okay. It’s also important to remain patient with yourself throughout your process of self-discovery and just trying to create better habits for your life. Forgive yourself every moment you feel like you let yourself down and go back to the drawing board. You will discover so much about yourself on this journey and that’s the best thing you can do, get to know you better. Be kind to yourself!