The Value of You

I was browsing through Instagram just a couple of minutes ago and came across a post that said, “My mom always says that when you meet the male version of yourself, is when you will meet the love of your life.” To my surprise a lot of the comments on the post went something like this, “Fuck no! Why would I want that I can barely handle myself.” And, “Ugh, Sounds dreadful. I want someone better.” And “No thanks, I don’t need any other type of me in my life.” And the one that hurt my heart a little was “What happens when he doesn’t love me though?” That one made me a little sad because what you’re really saying is, “I don’t even love me, so why would he?” I completely understand where a lot of these women are coming from. I was one of those women once upon a time. Wanting someone far more amazing than me to come along and show me the opposite of who I was at that moment in time. I wanted someone different to come along so that I could idolize him and get lost in him and his great attributes in order to forget about what I felt I was “lacking.” Or at least to distract me from the person that I was being at that moment in time.

I don’t think people realize that you can’t ever get anything that doesn’t match you, ever. For those of you saying, “But there was that time when I met that amazing person and so forth and so forth.” I would love for the people saying that to ask themselves what happened to that relationship. I’m sure for the majority of you, that relationship doesn’t exist. I’ll explain why things like that happen. Whether people like to admit it or not, everything is energy or what is called frequency. Energy can not be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another. So in simpler terms, when you are on a frequency of transformation and feeling amazing and loving everything and everyone around you, you meet this amazing person. You two click and everything goes well for awhile, but then something happens and it makes you question everything. The relationship slowly deteriorates and then suddenly you find yourself questioning what happened. I can tell you what happened, whether you want to believe this or not if you’re deeming that this other person is amazing and you think you’re not close to that, why would you possibly think that something like that could last? Once you jump off the frequency that this amazing person is on when you two met, guess what? He leaves with that frequency and he will either come back once your at a higher frequency or he wont and someone else that’s amazing will. The point of this post is to teach you all something. Not only about frequencies but about self love.

For all of you women out there trying to attract something more than what you think you are, let me give you the best advice I wish I could have gotten. Go back to the drawing board, go work on yourself, go work on accepting yourself. GO LOVE YOURSELF. You are valuable, you are worthy, you can have that relationship that you’re aiming for BUT you won’t get there from where you are right now. You keep asking yourself why you keep running into “dysfunctional” men but you yourself think of yourself as “dysfunctional” or not good enough or even worse not bearable. Some of you can’t stand to be in your own presence but you expect a man to be able to? Life doesn’t work like that, people don’t get blessed with great partners because they’re lucky, they end up with great partners because they took the initiative to work on embodying the goddess within them, to embody the amazing and wonderful woman they knew was within them all along. They stood up for themselves when they saw a single sign of disrespect, they spoke up when they needed to speak up, they knew their worth and they were mirrored that back to themselves. When you finally go within and start fixing the things about you that you know could use some improvement, that’s when the magic starts happening. When you finally show up and stop thinking that all of these men are crazy, that’s when magical shifts take place. Don’t get mad at a man for not giving you your place, be honest and ask yourself where you stopped giving yourself your place. Don’t get mad at a man for talking back to you, when you allowed that to go on for so long. In other words as my mother loves to tell me, a man will go as far as you allow him to go. I think that’s for any person, I don’t think this should be based on just one sex. So let me rephrase this, A person will only go as far as you allow them to go. Start being honest with yourself and start asking yourself where you can start showing up more in your romantic life, and just in any area of your life really.

As a woman who was there once before, I can honestly tell you that the moment I started to shift my thoughts was the moment I was able to attract better things into my life. Suddenly everything else started falling into place but that couldn’t happen until the powers that be noticed that I was willing to show up. That I was willing to change that great things started happening for me. I loved what I was starting to see. I’m still healing old wounds and I’m still working on my habits and my attitude. It’s not 100% there but I know that I’m being blessed for the effort that I’m making into becoming a better version of myself. Value yourself more because you are valuable. Anyone who tells you differently is just trying to make sure that you don’t shine. Don’t allow anyone to steal your shine. You matter! The comments about not wanting someone like yourself need to stop, that already would make me NOT want to date you. You’re not convincing anyone great to want to date you with those comments. Do you all not notice that great men are reading things like that on Social Media? It’s visible for everyone to see. Vibrate higher, find positive things about yourself that you like and run with those. Then find some more and some more and then work on the things that you feel aren’t appealing. People mirror you, you get who you are not what you want. VALUE YOURSELF! You matter. If I found the willpower to be able to work on those things that I didn’t like about myself, I know you can too! This is an ongoing process, continue working on yourself even when that partner shows up. Continue working on yourself always and strive for maintaining that amazing you. That saying that says, “If you don’t love yourself nobody else is going to love you,” it’s completely true. I can see that now! Even as a woman, when I saw a man that couldn’t carry himself well it was such a turn off. I would stop speaking to him or it made me want to cancel all of the dates that I had agreed to go on. In fact, I would do that a lot. When someone can’t carry themselves well, it’s just torture to even put yourself through something like that. So do yourself a favor, if you’re tired of getting your heartbroken start with yourself and go from there. Love yourself so much and get so happy with you and everything around you that everything that’s amazing will just come to you. You’ll attract all of those great things to you. Then you’ll discover the secret.

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