The Art of Letting Go

two women holding assorted color balloon lot

You probably came on here thinking that I would start off by saying that I had it all figured out. That I had the magic recipe to let go. To let go of pain, suffering, fears, self-sabotaging behavior, or whatever other million things people are trying to let go of nowadays. It’s not that I don’t know how to do it, it’s just that one size does not fit all. I won’t ever get tired of saying that. What works for me, may not always work for you. Not just that, the thing that I’ve discovered is that one day, week, or month, we do a great job with being able to let go of so much but then one day it can hit us like a ton of bricks. Then we start questioning, “what happened to us? I thought I was good. I was doing so well and now it just feels like I’m back at square one again.” I know I’m not the only one. I will say this one thing before I continue, letting go means making a commitment to yourself. A commitment to you that says I’m no longer going to fall victim to my past, I choose living a life filled with bliss, inner peace, and joy. Letting go is making a commitment to you.

Why does this happen? Well, it has a lot to do with us going back into those painful memories that only cause us pain, discomfort, or hurt. Our minds and bodies get addicted with feeling and thinking a certain way. So when we don’t feel guilt, shame, resentment, pain, suffering, etc., it’s like signals get sent out to the brain and body to remind us that we haven’t felt or experienced the same emotions and feelings that we’ve gotten used to feeling. Therefore, it’s like our minds and bodies go back into the vault of nasty things and starts to pull out memories from it that we thought we had truthfully let go of.

Nothing is wrong with you, our minds and bodies have just spent a great deal of time feeling and thinking a certain way that when we suddenly start giving it great feelings and emotions it’s like something is going wrong, instead of something going right. We’ve formed certain habits that can be a bit tricky to break but it really is all mental. Having relapses of trying to control your life all over again doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you, it just means that you’ve already been used to doing that all of your life or at least for as long as you can remember, that to do the opposite of that sends red flags to the brain and body.

We’ve formed these habits or what I like to call addictions to feeling and behaving a certain way, that we’ve programmed ourselves to believe that this is how it’s supposed to be. This is how you’ve been for a long time that it’s only logical for you to go back to those patterns. So how do you overcome this you may be asking? Again, one size does not fit all but something that I’ve been discovering for myself is this, I’ve turned to meditation to try and calm the chatter that happens in my mind. I also take walks when I feel a bit of anxiety when my mind starts running off and I take in deep breaths. I try to be extremely patient with myself and understanding myself. If you can’t be patient and understanding with yourself, you won’t ever be that with others. I try to remind myself that it is possible to rewire my brain and my thought process. When I notice that my mind starts trying to dig into painful memories or when my brain tells me that it’s time to try and take control of certain situations, I remind myself that the only thing I can control are my emotions and change my perspective on things. Control is an illusion and you never had any control to begin with and the more you tell yourself that the easier things will get for you.

We only try to control things because our memories cause us to remember about the pain or suffering we encountered years before. We only really try and control things because we don’t want to feel any negative emotion at all. Think of it this way, would you ever try to control anything if you knew that the outcomes would be so fulfilling and filled with bliss and joy? Probably not. You’d be expectant, happy, and enjoying every single moment.

So what can you do to learn to let go. Keep telling yourself that you never had any control other than control that you have over your thoughts and emotions. If you’re really trying to find ways to silence those nasty thoughts in your head that cause you to act in not so pleasing ways, I can suggest meditation, going for long walks, taking up new hobbies that keep your mind entertained with new information, most importantly when you feel those memories come up truly make peace with them and let them know they’re no longer a factor in your experience now. They have no place for the present moment. I hope this helps some of you. Find other blogs related to this and truly just read other things until you get more answers that help you feel better about letting go.

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