From writing & personal

Breaking the Habit: Overcoming Depression

I think that for a long time I felt that I didn’t think life could get better for me. For a long time I felt as if though I was brought into this world to suffer, to go through some of the most horrendous things.  I would look at the world around me and I felt as if though everyone else’s life was perfect. It sure seemed that way. For a long time I longed for closeness within my family, for my parents to get their shit together when it came to their relationship, for my godmother to stop threatening…

Mirrors: It’s not them, It’s you

Have you ever heard someone say, “it’s not you, it’s me.” We’ve always known that’s the biggest lie ever, right? The truth is it was never them and it was always you. If you never heard that before but always wondered why relationships were going wrong, why bosses were always mistreating you, why family relationships or friendships were sour, it wasn’t them, it was you. I spent years trying to figure out why certain patterns were playing out in my life. I found it odd and even thought I was cursed. Then I started reading a lot, I came across…

To All The Men I Hurt

I want to start off by apologizing to all of the men that I could have possibly hurt along the way of me trying to heal the wounds that some of you didn’t create but tried to help me mend. I think for the most part I tried to protect a lot of you from me and some of you were so persistent, so instead of being strong enough and standing my ground I caved and let you all into my ring of fire. I think a lot of you thought that you could be my knight and protector, the…

Making Peace With It All

I’m making peace with my past, every single demon that was once there is disappearing bit by bit. I’m starting to realize that the more I face these demons head on one by one, the lighter I feel. I acknowledge that some of these demons that have been here with me are because I didn’t want to take responsibility for them being there. I gave them light, in fact I handed them the fuel to light the fire. As the weeks go by I release each demon one by one and I thank them for what they showed me, but…

Why venting only creates more of what is

Have you ever found yourself venting your frustrations and repeating the same things over and over? How did all of that make you feel? Do you feel happy afterwards? My guess is that it probably leaves you even more drained, angry, and or depressed. Everything is energy. If you haven’t heard this before, you may have been hiding under a rock these past couple of years. Ever since social media got bigger than what was probably anticipated, you’ve seen your friends and/or specific pages post quotes about energies, enlightenment, affirmations, and the list goes on and on. I’m sure you’ve…

Staying true to you

It’s been well over 3 years since I last wrote something here, I was even debating taking down my first post ever. It kind of makes me cringe a bit reading over it, but I decided to leave it alone for the sake that it’s a part of my story. Over the last few years a lot of things have changed. Everything from my personality to my goals and dreams. People change, seasons change, everything truly does change, but I’d like to think that everything changes for the better. Things truly do get better as the time goes by. For…

Growing up and Taking a risk

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to start this. Let me start out with the basics. My name is Cynthia and I’m a 24-year-old full-time student. I’m currently attending the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising for Visual Communications. I have always known that I’ve wanted to be involved in the fashion industry but I just never knew how. I always loved looking at magazines and flipping through the pages. I would look at the models and the amazing clothes that they would wear. I always wanted to be like them. However, growing up was tough. I didn’t…